Alas I have a cold. =( And its no fun.
Have you ever had a cold. Of course you have. It sucks, no? Your nose has a bunch of snot in it and you haev a massive headace. Your ears get plugged and you breath like a creep-o. You are always freezing and have seven blankets on you, but thats nothing compared to the 20 boxes of tissues you use up.
Your trapped inside your house and you end up getting so bored you start to read; then you crave reading and thats the only thing you want to do. But you realize the neighborhood kids are outside playing on a warm Saturday and yelling at the top of their lungs so you get anoyed. So you go put a status on Facebook that makes you sound like a old man.
Go to the T.V and watch all the episodes of The Office you have recorded. But that doesn't take very long because you have seen all of them so you get bored and end up fast forwarding through it all.
Ok so Facebook is a happy place. But no one is on. They all have things they are doing on a sunny Satuday. So you end up slaving away on WoW.
Once that is over you realize its only 7:30 and you still need to do something for at least 2 hours, but there is nothing to do.
So you check all the blogs you follow but nothing is new. Crappy huh. So type one yourself about how crappy you feel with this cold and the whole time you have to sneeze but it wont come out so you squint the whole time and wrinkle your nose. You know once you finish writing this post you will have to do something for 2 hours and there is nothing good on T.V.
So when the time comes for you to finally go to bed you sit and think "UGH today sucked" and fall asleep.
The next day you wake up and your mouth is so dry I hurts just to produce some spit to wet it down. You have a nasty taste in your mouth from having to breath through it all night and you still feel like you need to sneez.
Another sick day ahead of you.
So that is basically how my day went all the way up till the part where I mentioned going to bed...but thats what I predict will happen.
Ya its been a sucky sick day...but I've had worse.
So for comments I want to hear your worst illness, or most boring time you have had while sick, or how being sick made you miss something you wanted to do. Doesn't matter what you talk about, you just have to be sick in the story.
I had an ear infection in both ears and that was pretty bad.... but wait it gets better.
ReplyDeleteFourth of July.
Anticipation. I have fireworks. WAHOOOO!
There's an indescribable rush as I light up a few and run out of the way just in time. We party like crazy! Setting smoke bombs and flashing lights and dancing on our neighbor's lawn like indians at an INSANE, EPIC pow-wow. My cute neighbor comes over...
Right. Better get to the sick part...
Well, later on, I'm still running around like a crazy person, but with only a sparkler. One sparkler, hardly dangerous, right? That one sparkler has found new horror in my eyes... As it was summer, I had ditched my shoes a long time back.
Ya know how when you have a lighted sparkler, the end burns and drops on the ground?
Yeah, and as soon as it did, my soft, delicate, lady foot smashes down on it.
WAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!
OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. Third degree burn. To my credit, I didn't cry. (Well, the credit goes back to that cute neighbor... )
I'm jumping up and down, frantically wiping my foot on the lawn. Yelling WAAAAHHOOO, let me tell ya! Looking back, I probably looked really, really, REALLY funny. Totally comical. Like a dance reject who needs to get a life.
But, let me tell ya, I was clinging to those branches and BELTING OUT MILEY CYRUS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!
My dad was like,"whoa, Mel! Calm, calm!"
He had no idea. He found out pretty soon as I collapsed in front of him, utterly spent from my frantic, pain-induced freak-out. I was like,"ow, dad, I just stepped on my firework." So calm. Usually turmoil only exists in my head........
He scoops me up and runs upstairs to get some cool water running in the bathtub while my mom looks up if I'm going to die or not in the book which I call, "FIND OUT HERE IF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE A LONG, SLOW, GORY DEATH, BY MR. NEVER STEPPED ON A FIREWORK, HAS NEVER EXPERIANCED THAT EXQUISITE PAIN, SO CAN ONLY OFFER UNFLINCHING FACT WITH NO MERCY WHATSOEVER FOR THOSE POOR IDIOTS WHO CHOSE NOT TO WEAR SHOES."
Well, the story isn't over yet.
So, this horrible, puffy, disfiguring scorch mark on my foot was all gross looking and stuff, but I figured I would be fine on our trip to Bear Lake.
Haha. Wow, how naive am I?!?
It's like a blister, but burn-style so it hurts more, right? Well... Sand is great for you when you're in that awful state. I was running around in the waves and splashing my family when I realized that my foot was ON FIRE.
I made a dramatic "OH CRAP I'M DYING" exit from the water, and no one came to see what was wrong.
Ok, you have to know something about my fam. We are TOUGH. Nothing hurts so bad that you cry out in physical pain. You suffer in silence. NOTHIN' HURTS. You keep hiking even if you can't breathe. You do reckless, but marginally safe, things just to say you've done them. My people and I here to set the records. And, most importantly, we do not cry in front of one another. It just does not happen.
Anyway, with my people in mind, I stole a look at my inflamed foot and found that sand had gotten inside the now-popped blister and it had been rubbing all day. In fact, that cruel sand was readily becoming a part of me. I swear it got so deeply into my foot that it entered my blood stream. Yeah. That bad.
So, what's my dear family's solution?
"HAHAHA nice one! Ouch! That was pretty stupid of you! Alright, get your toothbrush."
That was my grandma. And I did get the toothbrush.
She scrubbed that dang sand from the bottom of my foot and out the top.
I still have the scar to this day.
I did cry then. There was no mercy from my family. My daddy dearest sort of patted my head. How does that help? WHERE WAS THAT CUTE NEIGHBOR NOW? haha moving on....
It just hurt so bad!
So, I don't know if this qualifies as and illness, but I hope it was amusing to you... And a lesson to us all. (not to go firework-stomping.)